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Episode 76 — Torture Literature Meets Modelland by Tyra Banks

Original Art by Dirk Reul; Adapted by Alt Jade Designs

This week marks our first ever Torture Literature show.  And you’re definitely in for a treat.  We decided months and months ago that we would read and review Modelland by Tyra Banks.  Why would we do this to ourselves?  Because we think punishing ourselves is a great way to entertain all of you.

So sit back, turn on the episode, and enjoy!

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):
Episode 76 — Download (MP3)

Intro and Torture Cinema Meets Modelland by Tyra Banks (0:00 – 45:01)

Some extra goodies for you all:

And now some tweets (from Shaun)(read them from the bottom up):

  • Also: having your 1st period in #Modelland is superseded by how interested you are in your roommate’s toothbrush. Foh real.
  • Staying on menstruation in #Modelland — protagonist’s 1st period takes up less than 1pg. Because clearly it’s important for young girls.
  • It’s apparently important to remind us that women naturally synch their menstrual cycles. Instantly in #Modelland. Thanks, Tyra. GTK.
  • Smart people in #Modelland know algorithmic statistics (but never show it) and put together jigsaw puzzles w/ 30 pieces. Yeah…
  • I’m glad someone is getting joy out of my #Modelland troubles.@actuallyaisha Heaven knows I’m dying right now…
  • Because calling something the Common Room would be too obvious, Tyra came up with UnCommon Room. *snort* #Modelland
  • I don’t think I can do this anymore. #Modelland is so bad it’s actually giving me the shakes. And I can’t throw an ebook at the wall…
  • Skimming #Modelland doesn’t help with the reading experience. You end up focusing only on the really bad parts. Ugh.
  • Apparently Yorkshire terriers exist in the world of #Modelland, even though it’s not clear whether England does. #WorldbuildingGaps
  • Not related to reading: Tim Tebow = most annoying football player since T.O. Like watching Jesus Camp over and over…and over…
  • Let’s get one thing straight: Tyra Banks is not going to be a legitimate poet anytime soon… #Modelland #awfulpoetry
  • #Modelland Poetry Anthology: “Modelland is your new HOME / Welcome to the superDOME / For you XX-chromoSOMED / Modelland is your new home”
  • #Modelland Dictionary — Mannecant (n): a servant to the BellaDonna of Modelland. Derived from servant (n) and mannequin (n). #eyeroll
  • Mythology from #Modelland: “Long, long ago, the battle raged between the Muses and the nail polish remover.” <–Actual quote…
  • For some reason, becoming an Intoxibella (Tyra’s version of a super model with magic power) requires an obstacle course w/ fire #Modelland
  • The basic plot of #Modelland is almost exactly like Harry Potter. Run the basics through your head, turn “wizards” into “models.” Done…
  • .@Dhympna I’m reading it for @skiffyandfanty — We’re recording tonight. Torture Literature. First episode. Released tomorrow #Modelland
  • If you guessed Bestosterone (the name of the academy) and ManAttack (the name of the class), you are correct. #Modelland
  • Can you guess the name of the male modeling academy in Modelland? How about one of its classes? Go on, guess.
  • I really should have been tweeting about Modelland *while reading it.* Because this book is fucking awful…
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Our new intro music is “Time Flux” by Revolution Void (CC BY 3.0).

That’s all, folks!  Thanks for listening.  See you next week.

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