Torture Cinema is a comedic bad movie review podcast. In each episode, we take our unabashedly geeky and absurd sense of humor and turn it against some of the worst science fiction, fantasy, and horror movies ever produced. Each movie is selected by our sadistic listeners from an ever-growing list of terrible films.
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Torture Cinema is a regular feature where we watch bad science fiction and fantasy movies so you don’t have to. Each segment features our detailed criticisms of a particular film, from our likes and dislikes. Every movie also receives a grade (all reviewed movies w/ grades are listed below). We’ve also recently started the Torture Literature feature, which follows the same logic as Torture Cinema. This will be an irregular addition. Lastly, we will occasionally review good films for special occasions (like anniversaries). See the bottom of the page for details about recent special non-Torture episodes!
If you’d like to suggest a bad SF/F/H movie or book for us to watch, feel free to send us an email (skiffyandfanty[at]gmail[dot]com), leave a comment anywhere on this site, or send a message to our Twitter account. All suggestions will eventually show up on our monthly Torture Cinema poll, with exception to certain months.
Torture Cinema Reviews:
The First Torture
In the Name of the King (2007)
(Uwe Boll; Jason Statham, John Rhys Davies, Ray Liotta, etc.)
Grade:
- Shaun (D- Amended to a D+)
- Jen (D+)
- Average (D Amended to a D+ average)
Featured in Episode 15
The Second Torture
The Guyver (1991)
(Screaming Mad George and Steve Wang; Mark Hamill)
Grade:
- Shaun (D-)
- Jen (F)
- Average (F+)
Featured in Episode 18.
The Third Torture
Battlefield Earth (2000)
(Roger Christian, Corey Mandell, and J.D. Shapiro; John Travolta, Forest Whitaker, Kim Coates, and Barry Pepper)
Grade:
- Shaun (C-)
- Jen (C)
- Average (C-ish)
Featured in Episode 21.
The Fourth Torture
Creep (2004)
(Franka Potente and Sean Harris; dir. Christopher Smith)
Grade:
- Shaun (C-)
- Jen (C)
- Average (C-ish)
Featured in Episode 24.
The Fifth Torture
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
(John Call, Leonard Hicks, and Vincent Beck)
Grades:
- Shaun (D-)
- Jen (C-)
- Average (D-ish)
Featured in Episode 30
The Sixth Torture
The Last Airbender (2010)
(Dev Patel, Shaun Toub, Aasif Mandvi, Cliff Curtis; M. Night Shyamalan)
Grades:
- Shaun (F-)
- Jen (F)
- Overall (F-ish)
Featured in Episode 38
The Seventh Torture
Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
(Jeremy Irons, Justin Whalin, Marlon Wayans, Thora Birch, and Bruce Payne)
Grades:
- Shaun (D-)
- Jen (F-)
- Overall (Fish)
Featured in Episode 43
The Eight Torture
Alone in the Dark (2005)
(Christian Slater and Tara Reid; Uwe Boll)
Grades:
- Shaun (C-)
- Jen (C-)
- Overall (C-)
Featured in Episode 45
The Ninth Torture
Batman & Robin (1997)
(George Clooney, Uma Thurman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O’Donnell; Joel Schumacher)
Grades
- Shaun (F+)
- Jen (D)
- Overall (D-)
Featured in Episode 51
The Tenth Torture
The Wicker Man (2006)
(Nicolas Cage)
Grades
- Shaun (D+)
- Jen (D)
- Overall (Dish)
Featured in Episode 55
The Eleventh Torture
War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave (2008)
(C. Thomas Howell, Christopher Reid, and Kim Little)
Grades:
- Shaun (F-)
- Jen (F-)
- Overall (F-)
Featured in Episode 59
The Twelfth Torture
Mansquito (2005)
(Corin Nemec, Musetta Vander, and Matt Jordan)
Grades:
- Shaun (C-)
- Jen (C+)
- Overall (C)
Featured in Episode 64
The Thirteenth Torture
2012 (2009)
(John Cusack, Amanda Peet, and Chiwetel Ejiofor; Roland Emmerich)
Grades:
- Shaun (D+)
- Jen (C)
- Overall (C-)
Featured in Episode 68
The Fourteenth Torture
Jason X (2001)
(Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, and Lisa Ryder; James Isaac)
Grades:
- Shaun (F+)
- Jen (F+)
- Overall (F+)
Featured in Episode 72
The Fifteenth Torture
Rare Exports (2010)
(Jorma Tommila, Peeter Jakobi, and Onni Tommila; Jalmari Helander)
Grades:
- Shaun (B)
- Jen (B+)
- Overall (Bish)
Featured in Episode 80
The Sixteenth Torture
Twilight (2008)
(Kirsten Stewart, Robert Pattison, and Billy Burke; Catherine Hardwicke)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- Jen (F)
- Overall (F)
Featured in Episode 82
The Seventeenth Torture
Twilight: New Moon (2009)
(Kirsten Stewart, Robert Pattison, and Billy Burke; Chris Weitz)
Grades:
- Shaun (F-)
- Jen (F)
- Overall (Fish)
Featured in Episode 90
The Eighteenth Torture
Twilight: Eclipse (2010)
(Kirsten Stewart, Robert Pattison, and Taylor Lautner; Chris Weitz)
Grades:
- Shaun (F+)
- Jen (D)
- Overall (D-)
Featured in Episode 91.
The Nineteenth Torture
Doom (2005)
(Dwayne Johnson and Karl Urban)
Grade:
- Shaun (D+)
- Jen (B-)
- Paul (D-)
- Normal Pants (C)
- Average (C)
Featured in Episode 100
The Twentieth Torture
Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part 1) (2011)
(Kirsten Stewart, Robert Pattison, and Taylor Lautner)
Grade:
- Shaun (F-)
- Jen (F-)
- Average (F-)
Featured in Episode 104
The Twenty-first Torture
Howard the Duck (1986)
(Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones, and Tim Robbins))
Grade:
- Shaun (D+)
- Paul (D)
- Average (Dish)
Featured in Episode 106
The Twenty-second Torture
Midnight Chronicles (2010)
(Charles Hubbell, Matt Amendt, and Steve Sweere; dir. Christian T. Petersen)
Grade:
- Shaun (D-)
- Paul (D)
- Julia (D-)
- Average (D)
Featured in Episode 111
The Twenty-third Torture
Season of the Witch (2011)
(Nicolas Cage, Ron Pearlman, and Claire Foy; Dominic Sena)
Grade:
- Shaun (D+)
- Paul (C)
- Julia (D)
- Average (D+ish)
Featured in Episode 116
The Twenty-fourth Torture
Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part Two) (2011)
(Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner; Bill Condon)
Grade:
- Shaun (D)
- Jen (D)
- Average (D)(But we would give it an A for being over…)
Featured in Episode 118
The Twenty-fifth Torture
Zardoz (1974)
(Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling, and Sarah Kestelman; John Boorman)
Grade:
- Shaun (B-)
- Paul (C+)
- Julia (C+)
- Keffy (C+)
- Average (C++)
Featured in Episode 121
The Twenty-sixth Torture
The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
(Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Peter Mayhew, and Anthony Daniels)
Grade:
- Shaun (F-)
- Jen (D-)
- Julia (F-)
- Paul (F-)
- Average (F- ish)
Featured in Episode 123
The Twenty-seventh Torture
Jumper (2008)
(Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson, and Samuel L. Jackson; Doug Liman)
Grade:
- Shaun (C-)
- Jen (C)
- Julia (D)
- Paul (D)
- Average (D+ ish)
Featured in Episode 130
The Twenty-eighth Torture
10,000 B.C. (2008)
(Camilla Belle, Steven Strait, and Cliff Curtis; Roland Emmerich)
Grade:
- Shaun (F+)
- Jen (F)
- Julia (F)
- Average (F ish)
Featured in Episode 133
The Twenty-ninth Torture
King Arthur (2004)
(Clive Owen, Kiera Knightly, Mads Mikkelsen; Antoine Fuqua)
Grade:
- Shaun (C+)
- Paul (B-)
- Julia (C+)
- Average (C+ish)
Featured in Episode 138
The Thirtieth Torture
Eragon (2006)
(Ed Speleers, Jeremy Irons, Sienna Guillory; Stefen Fangmeier)
Grade:
- Shaun (C-)
- Paul (D+)
- Julia (B-)
- Average (C-ish)
Featured in Episode 144
The Thirty-first Torture
The Avengers (1998)
(Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, and Sean Connery; Jeremiah S. Chechik)
Grade:
- Shaun (F)
- Jen (D)
- Julia (F-)
- Ian Mond (F-)
- Average (F)
Featured in Episode 150
The Thirty-second Torture
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
(James Nguyen; Alan Bagh, Whitney Moore, )
Grade:
- Shaun (Q or F-)
- Paul (F)
- Julia (C)
- Average (F+ or K for Killer)
Featured in Episode 153
The Thirty-third Torture
Transformers (2007)
(Michael Bay; Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, and Josh Duhamel)
Grade:
- Shaun (C)
- Jen (C)
- Paul (C)
- Julia (F-)
- Average (D+)
Featured in Episode 158
The Thirty-fourth Torture
Sharknado (2013)
(Tara Reid and Ian Ziering)
Grades:
- Shaun (D)
- Jen (B-)
- Julia (C+)
- Mike (C)
- Average (C)
Featured in Episode 169
The Thirty-fifth Torture
The Gate (1987)
(Stephen Dorff, Christa Denton; Tibor Takacs)
Grades:
- Shaun (C-)
- Julia (C-)
- Paul (C-)
- Average (C-)
Featured in Episode 173
The Thirty-Sixth Torture
Reign of Fire (2002)
(Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale, and Gerard Butler; Rob Bowman)
Grades:
- Shaun (C)
- Jen (B+)
- Julia (C-)
- Paul (C-)
- Average (C-ish)
Featured in Episode 180
The Thirty-seventh Torture
Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
(Jason Lee, David Cross, and Cameron Richardson; Tim Hill)
Grades:
- Shaun (D)
- Paul (D)
- Julia (D)
- Average (D)
Featured in Episode 184
The Thirty-Eighth Torture
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
(Michael Bay; Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, and Josh Duhamel)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- Julia (F-)
- Paul (F+)
- Jen (D-)
- Overall (Fish)
Featured in Episode 190
The Thirty-Ninth Torture
Sons of Steel (1988)
(Rob Hartley, Jeff Duff, and Dagmar Blahova; Gary L. Keady)
Grades:
- Shaun (C-)
- Paul (C-)
- Jen (F-)
- Julia (A+)
- Danny (B)
- Overall (C-)
Featured in Episode 195.
The Fortieth Torture
Mannequin (1987)
(Andrew McCarthy, Kim Cattrall, Estelle Getty, and James Spader; Michael Gottlieb)
Grades:
- Shaun (F-)
- Julia (D)
- Jen (D)
- Overall (D-)
Featured in Episode 197
The Forty-first Torture
Highlander II: the Quickening (1991)
(Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Michael Ironside, and Virginia Madsen; Russell Mulcahy)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- Jen (A+)
- Julia (F+)
- Mike (F-)
- Average (D-)
Featured in Episode 202
The Forty-second Torture
Inspector Gadget (1999)
(Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett, and Joely Fisher; David Kellogg)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- Julia (F)
- Paul (F)
- Average (F)
Featured in Episode 206
The Forty-third Torture
Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)
(Reb Brown, Corinne Clery, and Luciano Pigozzi; Antonio Margheriti)
Grades:
- Shaun (C)
- Julia (C)
- Paul (C)
- David (B+)
- Average (Cish)
Featured in Episode 211
The Forty-fourth Torture
The Happening (2008)
(Mark Wahlberg, Zo0ey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo; M. Night Shyamalan)
Grades:
- Shaun (F+)
- Julia (D)
- Paul (D-)
- Average (D-)
Featured in Episode 217
The Forty-fifth Torture
Hawk the Slayer (1980)
(Terry Marcel; Jack Palance, John Terry, and Bernard Bresslaw)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- Paul (D-)
- Julia (D)
- Mike (F)
- Average (D-)
Featured in Episode 222
The Forty-sixth Torture
The Omega Man (1971)
(Boris Sagal; Charlton Heston, Anthony Zerbe, and Rosalind Cash)
Grades:
- Shaun (C-)
- Paul (B)
- Julia (C+)
- Rachael (C)
- David (B-)
- Average (C)
Featured in Episode 227
The Forty-Seventh Torture
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)
(Gregory Walcott, Bela Lugosi, and Vampira; Ed D. Wood, Jr.)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- Julia (D)
- Paul (D-)
- Rachael (D+)
- Overall (D-)
Featured in Episode 229
The Forty-eight Torture
Mac and Me (1988)
(Not Paul Rudd; Christine Ebersole and Jonathan Ward; Stewart Raffill)
Grades:
- Shaun (B+)
- David (D-)
- Paul (D-)
- Rachael (D-)
- Julia (D)
- Average (D)
Featured in Episode 239
The Forty-ninth Torture
Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)
(Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, and Oliver Clark; John R. Cherry, III)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- David (F)
- Julia (D-)
- Paul (F)
- Rachael (F)
- Mike (F)
- Average (F w/ a minor ish)
Featured in Episode 248
The Fiftieth Torture
The Fantastic Four (1994)
(Roger Corman; Alex Hyde-White, Jay Underwood, Rebecca Stab, and Michael Bailey Smith)
Grades:
- Shaun (C-)
- Julia (C-)
- Paul (C-)
- David (C-)
- Average (C-)
Featured in Episode 252
The Fifty-first Torture
Baby Geniuses (1999)
(Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd, Kim Cattrall, and Peter MacNicol; Bob Clark)
Grades:
- Shaun (F-)
- Julia (F-)
- Paul (F-)
- Rachael (F-)
- Average (F-)
Featured in Episode 257
The Fifty-second Torture
The Black Hole (1971)
(dir. Gary Nelson; Maximilian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Foster, and Ernest Borgnine)
Grades:
- Shaun (C-)
- Paul (B+)
- Julia (D)
- Rachael (C-)
- David (C)
- Average (C-)
Featured in Episode 265
The Fifty-third Torture

Logan’s Run (1976)
(dir. Michael Anderson; Michael York, Jenny Agutter, and Richard Jordan)
Grades:
- Shaun (C+)
- Julia (B+)
- David (B)
- Jen (C+)
- Paul (B+)
- Rachael (B-)
- Average (B)
Featured in Episode 270
The Fifty-fourth Torture
Waterworld (1995)
(dir. Kevin Reynolds; Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, and Tina Majorino)
Grades:
- Shaun (F-)
- Julia (F+)
- Rachael (C-)
- Paul (D+)
- Geoffrey (C-)
- Jen (B)
- Average (D+)
Featured in Episode 273
The Fifty-fifth Torture
Krull (1983)
(dir. Peter Yates; Ken Marshall, Lysette Anthony, and Freddie Jones)
Grades:
- Shaun (B+)
- Julia (C-)
- Paul (C-)
- Mike Martinez (C-)
- Average (C-ish)
Featured in Episode 275
The Fifty-sixth Torture
The Postman (1997)
(dir. Kevin Costner; Kevin Costner, Olivia Williams, Will Patton, and Lorenz Tate)
Grades:
- Shaun (A-)
- Jen (C)
- Julia (C+)
- Paul (C+)
- Mike (C+)
- Average (B-)
Featured in Episode 278
The Fifty-seventh Torture
The Cat From Outer Space (1978)
(dir. Norman Tokar; Ken Berry, Sandy Duncan, and Harry Morgan)
Grades:
- Shaun (C)
- Julia (C-)
- Paul (C)
- Rachael (C-)
- Average (C-ish)
Featured in Episode 282
The Fifty-Eighth Torture
The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981)
(dir. Joel Schumacher; Lily Tomlin, Charles Grodin, and Ned Beatty)
Grades:
- Shaun (F+)
- Julia (B)
- Paul (D)
- Rachael (D+)
- Average (D+)
Featured in Episode 285
The Fifty-ninth Torture
Zombies of Mora Tau (1957)
(dir. Edward L. Cahn; Gregg Palmer, Allison Hayes, and Autumn Russell)
Grades:
- Shaun (D-)
- Rachael (D+)
- Julia (D-)
- Paul (D+)
- Average (D)
Featured in Episode 286
The Sixtieth Torture
Barbarella (1968)
(dir. Roger Vadim; Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, and Anita Pallenberg)
Grades:
- Shaun (D-)
- Julia (D)
- Mike (C-)
- Paul (C)
- Trish (C)
- David (C+)
- Average (C-ish)
Featured in Episode 288
The Sixty-first Torture
The Santa Clause (1994)
(dir. John Pasquin; Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, and Wendy Crewson)
Grades:
- Shaun (A-)
- Rachael (C)
- Mike (C+)
- Paul (C-)
- Julia (D)
- Average (Cish)
Featured in Episode 289
The Sixty-second Torture
Mazes and Monsters (1982)
(dir. Steven Hilliard Stern; Tom Hanks, Wendy Crewson, and David Wallace)
Grades:
- Paul (F-)
- David (D)
- Jen (F-)
- Mike (F)
- Julia (F-)
- Shaun (F-)
- Average (F-ish)
Featured in Episode 294
The Sixty-third Torture
Sphere (1998)
(dir. Barry Levinson; Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone, and Samuel L. Jackson)
Grades:
- Paul (D-)
- Julia (D)
- Shaun (D)
- Rachael (D)
- Average (D)
Featured in Episode 298
The Sixty-fourth Torture
Aeon Flux (2006)
(dir. Karyn Kusama; Charlize Theron, Frances McDormand, and Sophie Okonedo)
Grades:
- Julia (C-)
- Jen (C)
- Alex (D)
- Trish (C-)
- Shaun (C-)
- Average (C- ish)
Featured in Episode 306
The Sixty-Fifth Torture
Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure (2011)
(dir. John Putch; John Cleese, Munro Chambers, and Kim Rhodes)
Grades:
- Paul (D)
- Julia (D)
- Alex (D)
- Julia (D)
- Average (D)
Featured in Episode 307
The Sixty-Sixth Torture
The Haunting (1999)
(dir. Jan de Bont; Liam neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Owen Wilson, and Lili Taylor)
Grades:
- David (C-)
- Julia (D)
- Paul (D)
- Alex (D)
- Shaun (D)
- Average (D-ish)
Featured in Episode 310
The Sixty-Seventh Torture
Fantastic Four (2005)
(dir. Tim Story; Ioan Gruffud, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans, and Jessica Alba)
Grades:
- Shaun (D+)
- Julia (D)
- Trish (D-)
- Michael J. Martinez (D+)
- Average (D-ish)
Featured in Episode 316
The Sixty-Eighth Torture
The Core (2003)
(dir. Jon Amiel; Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank, Delroy Lindo, Tchéky Karyo and Stanley Tucci)
Grades:
- Shaun (D-)
- Jen (C-)
- Paul (F)
- Alex (D-)
- Average (D-…ish)
Featured in Episode 319
The Sixty-Ninth Torture
Babylon A.D. (2008)
(dir. Mathieu Kassovitz; Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, and Mélanie Thierry )
Grades:
- Julia (F)
- David (D)
- Alex (F)
- DongWong (F)
- Average (F-ish)
Featured in Episode 322
The Seventieth Torture
Queen of the Damned (2002)
(dir. Michael Rymer; Aaliyah, Stuart Townsend, and Marguerite Moreau)
Grades:
- Shaun (D+)
- Jen (C)
- Paul (D)
- Megan O’Keefe (C+)
- Average (D-)
Featured in Episode 325
The Seventy-first Torture
Fiend Without a Face (1958)
(dir. Arthur Crabtree; Marshall Thompson, Terry Kilburn, and Kynaston Reeves)
Grades:
- Shaun (C-)
- David (B+)
- Trish (C-)
- Average (C-ish)
Featured in Episode 327
The Seventy-second Torture
Night of the Comet (1984)
(dir. Thom Eberhardt; Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelli Maroney, and Robert Beltran)
Grades:
- Jen (B+)
- Paul (B)
- Alex (B)
- Keith Manuel (B+)
- Average (B+ish)
Featured in Episode 330
The Seventy-third Torture
Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)
(dirs. Jimmy T. Murakami and Roger Corman; George Peppard, Robert Vaughn, and Richard Thomas)
Grades:
- Jen (D)
- Paul (D-)
- Mike Martinez (F)
- Average (D-)
Featured in Episode 332
The Seventy-fourth Torture
Judge Dredd (1995)
(dir. Danny Cannon; Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, and Rob Schneider)
Grades:
- Trish (C-)
- Paul (D+)
- Julia (C+)
- Daniel (D+)
- Average (D+ish)
Featured in Episode 335
The Seventy-fifth Torture
Maximum Overdrive (1986)
(dir. Stephen King; Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, and Laura Harrington)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- David (D)
- Alex (D-)
- Zena (C-)
- Average (D-ish)
Featured in Episode 339
The Seventy-sixth Torture
Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs (2015)
(dir. Ari Novak; Eric Roberts, Rib Hillis, and Casey Fitzgerald)
Grades:
- Shaun (D-)
- Julia (D)
- Becca (C)
- Adam (D)
- Average (D-ish)
Featured in Episode 342
The Seventy-seventh Torture
Krampus: The Reckoning (2015)
(dir. Robert Conway; Monica Engesser, Amelia Haberman, and James Ray)
Grades:
- Shaun (F)
- Paul (F)
- Jen (F)
- Alex (F)
- Becca (F)
- Average (F)
Featured in Episode 344
Torture Literature Reviews:
The First Literary Torture
Modelland by Tyra Banks (2011)
Grade:
- Shaun (F-)
- Jen (F-)
- Average (F-)
Featured in Episode 76
Non-Torture Reviews:
The Third Anniversary Special
Stargate (1994)
(Roland Emmerich; Kurt Russell, James Spader, and Jaye Davidson)
Grade:
- Shaun (B)
- Jen (A+)
- Julia (C)
- Paul (B+)
- Average (B+)
Featured in Episode 147