Torture Cinema is a comedic bad movie review podcast. In each episode, we take our unabashedly geeky and absurd sense of humor and turn it against some of the worst science fiction, fantasy, and horror movies ever produced. Each movie is selected by our sadistic listeners from an ever-growing list of terrible films.

If you want to subscribe to all of our shows, see our Full Experience page.

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Torture Cinema is a regular feature where we watch bad science fiction and fantasy movies so you don’t have to. Each segment features our detailed criticisms of a particular film, from our likes and dislikes. Every movie also receives a grade (all reviewed movies w/ grades are listed below). We’ve also recently started the Torture Literature feature, which follows the same logic as Torture Cinema. This will be an irregular addition. Lastly, we will occasionally review good films for special occasions (like anniversaries). See the bottom of the page for details about recent special non-Torture episodes!

If you’d like to suggest a bad SF/F/H movie or book for us to watch, feel free to send us an email (skiffyandfanty[at]gmail[dot]com), leave a comment anywhere on this site, or send a message to our Twitter account. All suggestions will eventually show up on our monthly Torture Cinema poll, with exception to certain months.

Torture Cinema Reviews:

The First Torture

In the Name of the King (2007)
(Uwe Boll; Jason Statham, John Rhys Davies, Ray Liotta, etc.)
Grade:

Shaun (D- Amended to a D+)
Jen (D+)
Average (D Amended to a D+ average)

Featured in Episode 15

The Second Torture

The Guyver (1991)
(Screaming Mad George and Steve Wang; Mark Hamill)
Grade:

Shaun (D-)
Jen (F)
Average (F+)

Featured in Episode 18.

The Third Torture

Battlefield Earth (2000)
(Roger Christian, Corey Mandell, and J.D. Shapiro; John Travolta, Forest Whitaker, Kim Coates, and Barry Pepper)
Grade:

Shaun (C-)
Jen (C)
Average (C-ish)

Featured in Episode 21.

The Fourth Torture

Creep (2004)
(Franka Potente and Sean Harris; dir. Christopher Smith)
Grade:

Shaun (C-)
Jen (C)
Average (C-ish)

Featured in Episode 24.

The Fifth Torture

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
(John Call, Leonard Hicks, and Vincent Beck)
Grades:

Shaun (D-)
Jen (C-)
Average (D-ish)

Featured in Episode 30

The Sixth Torture

The Last Airbender (2010)
(Dev Patel, Shaun Toub, Aasif Mandvi, Cliff Curtis; M. Night Shyamalan)
Grades:

Shaun (F-)
Jen (F)
Overall (F-ish)

Featured in Episode 38

The Seventh Torture

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
(Jeremy Irons, Justin Whalin, Marlon Wayans, Thora Birch, and Bruce Payne)
Grades:

Shaun (D-)
Jen (F-)
Overall (Fish)

Featured in Episode 43

The Eight Torture

Alone in the Dark (2005)
(Christian Slater and Tara Reid; Uwe Boll)
Grades:

Shaun (C-)
Jen (C-)
Overall (C-)

Featured in Episode 45

The Ninth Torture

Batman & Robin (1997)
(George Clooney, Uma Thurman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O’Donnell; Joel Schumacher)
Grades

Shaun (F+)
Jen (D)
Overall (D-)

Featured in Episode 51

The Tenth Torture

The Wicker Man (2006)
(Nicolas Cage)
Grades

Shaun (D+)
Jen (D)
Overall (Dish)

Featured in Episode 55

The Eleventh Torture

War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave (2008)
(C. Thomas Howell, Christopher Reid, and Kim Little)
Grades:

Shaun (F-)
Jen (F-)
Overall (F-)

Featured in Episode 59

The Twelfth Torture

Mansquito (2005)
(Corin Nemec, Musetta Vander, and Matt Jordan)
Grades:

Shaun (C-)
Jen (C+)
Overall (C)

Featured in Episode 64

The Thirteenth Torture

2012 (2009)
(John Cusack, Amanda Peet, and Chiwetel Ejiofor; Roland Emmerich)
Grades:

Shaun (D+)
Jen (C)
Overall (C-)

Featured in Episode 68

The Fourteenth Torture

Jason X (2001)
(Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, and Lisa Ryder; James Isaac)
Grades:

Shaun (F+)
Jen (F+)
Overall (F+)

Featured in Episode 72

The Fifteenth Torture

Rare Exports (2010)
(Jorma Tommila, Peeter Jakobi, and Onni Tommila; Jalmari Helander)
Grades:

Shaun (B)
Jen (B+)
Overall (Bish)

Featured in Episode 80

The Sixteenth Torture

Twilight (2008)
(Kirsten Stewart, Robert Pattison, and Billy Burke; Catherine Hardwicke)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
Jen (F)
Overall (F)

Featured in Episode 82

The Seventeenth Torture

Twilight: New Moon (2009)
(Kirsten Stewart, Robert Pattison, and Billy Burke; Chris Weitz)
Grades:

Shaun (F-)
Jen (F)
Overall (Fish)

Featured in Episode 90

The Eighteenth Torture

Twilight: Eclipse (2010)
(Kirsten Stewart, Robert Pattison, and Taylor Lautner; Chris Weitz)
Grades:

Shaun (F+)
Jen (D)
Overall (D-)

Featured in Episode 91.

The Nineteenth Torture

Doom (2005)
(Dwayne Johnson and Karl Urban)
Grade:

Shaun (D+)
Jen (B-)
Paul (D-)
Normal Pants (C)
Average (C)

Featured in Episode 100

The Twentieth Torture

Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part 1) (2011)
(Kirsten Stewart, Robert Pattison, and Taylor Lautner)
Grade:

Shaun (F-)
Jen (F-)
Average (F-)

Featured in Episode 104

The Twenty-first Torture

Howard the Duck (1986)
(Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones, and Tim Robbins))
Grade:

Shaun (D+)
Paul (D)
Average (Dish)

Featured in Episode 106

The Twenty-second Torture

Midnight Chronicles (2010)
(Charles Hubbell, Matt Amendt, and Steve Sweere; dir. Christian T. Petersen)
Grade:

Shaun (D-)
Paul (D)
Julia (D-)
Average (D)

Featured in Episode 111

The Twenty-third Torture

Season of the Witch (2011)
(Nicolas Cage, Ron Pearlman, and Claire Foy; Dominic Sena)
Grade:

Shaun (D+)
Paul (C)
Julia (D)
Average (D+ish)

Featured in Episode 116

The Twenty-fourth Torture

Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part Two) (2011)
(Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner; Bill Condon)
Grade:

Shaun (D)
Jen (D)
Average (D)(But we would give it an A for being over…)

Featured in Episode 118

The Twenty-fifth Torture

Zardoz (1974)
(Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling, and Sarah Kestelman; John Boorman)
Grade:

Shaun (B-)
Paul (C+)
Julia (C+)
Keffy (C+)
Average (C++)

Featured in Episode 121

The Twenty-sixth Torture

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
(Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Peter Mayhew, and Anthony Daniels)
Grade:

Shaun (F-)
Jen (D-)
Julia (F-)
Paul (F-)
Average (F- ish)

Featured in Episode 123

The Twenty-seventh Torture

Jumper (2008)
(Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson, and Samuel L. Jackson; Doug Liman)
Grade:

Shaun (C-)
Jen (C)
Julia (D)
Paul (D)
Average (D+ ish)

Featured in Episode 130

The Twenty-eighth Torture

10,000 B.C. (2008)
(Camilla Belle, Steven Strait, and Cliff Curtis; Roland Emmerich)
Grade:

Shaun (F+)
Jen (F)
Julia (F)
Average (F ish)

Featured in Episode 133

The Twenty-ninth Torture

King Arthur (2004)
(Clive Owen, Kiera Knightly, Mads Mikkelsen; Antoine Fuqua)
Grade:

Shaun (C+)
Paul (B-)
Julia (C+)
Average (C+ish)

Featured in Episode 138

The Thirtieth Torture

Eragon (2006)
(Ed Speleers, Jeremy Irons, Sienna Guillory; Stefen Fangmeier)
Grade:

Shaun (C-)
Paul (D+)
Julia (B-)
Average (C-ish)

Featured in Episode 144

The Thirty-first Torture

The Avengers (1998)
(Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, and Sean Connery; Jeremiah S. Chechik)
Grade:

Shaun (F)
Jen (D)
Julia (F-)
Ian Mond (F-)
Average (F)

Featured in Episode 150

The Thirty-second Torture

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
(James Nguyen; Alan Bagh, Whitney Moore, )
Grade:

Shaun (Q or F-)
Paul (F)
Julia (C)
Average (F+ or K for Killer)

Featured in Episode 153

The Thirty-third Torture

Transformers (2007)
(Michael Bay; Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, and Josh Duhamel)
Grade:

Shaun (C)
Jen (C)
Paul (C)
Julia (F-)
Average (D+)

Featured in Episode 158

The Thirty-fourth Torture

Sharknado (2013)
(Tara Reid and Ian Ziering)
Grades:

Shaun (D)
Jen (B-)
Julia (C+)
Mike (C)
Average (C)

Featured in Episode 169

The Thirty-fifth Torture

The Gate (1987)
(Stephen Dorff, Christa Denton; Tibor Takacs)
Grades:

Shaun (C-)
Julia (C-)
Paul (C-)
Average (C-)

Featured in Episode 173

The Thirty-Sixth Torture

Reign of Fire (2002)
(Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale, and Gerard Butler; Rob Bowman)
Grades:

Shaun (C)
Jen (B+)
Julia (C-)
Paul (C-)
Average (C-ish)

Featured in Episode 180

The Thirty-seventh Torture

Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
(Jason Lee, David Cross, and Cameron Richardson; Tim Hill)
Grades:

Shaun (D)
Paul (D)
Julia (D)
Average (D)

Featured in Episode 184

The Thirty-Eighth Torture

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
(Michael Bay; Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, and Josh Duhamel)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
Julia (F-)
Paul (F+)
Jen (D-)
Overall (Fish)

Featured in Episode 190

The Thirty-Ninth Torture

Sons of Steel (1988)
(Rob Hartley, Jeff Duff, and Dagmar Blahova; Gary L. Keady)
Grades:

Shaun (C-)
Paul (C-)
Jen (F-)
Julia (A+)
Danny (B)
Overall (C-)

Featured in Episode 195.

The Fortieth Torture

Mannequin (1987)
(Andrew McCarthy, Kim Cattrall, Estelle Getty, and James Spader; Michael Gottlieb)
Grades:

Shaun (F-)
Julia (D)
Jen (D)
Overall (D-)

Featured in Episode 197

The Forty-first Torture

Highlander II: the Quickening (1991)
(Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Michael Ironside, and Virginia Madsen; Russell Mulcahy)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
Jen (A+)
Julia (F+)
Mike (F-)
Average (D-)

Featured in Episode 202

The Forty-second Torture

Inspector Gadget (1999)
(Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett, and Joely Fisher; David Kellogg)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
Julia (F)
Paul (F)
Average (F)

Featured in Episode 206

The Forty-third Torture

Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)
(Reb Brown, Corinne Clery, and Luciano Pigozzi; Antonio Margheriti)
Grades:

Shaun (C)
Julia (C)
Paul (C)
David (B+)
Average (Cish)

Featured in Episode 211

The Forty-fourth Torture

The Happening (2008)
(Mark Wahlberg, Zo0ey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo; M. Night Shyamalan)
Grades:

Shaun (F+)
Julia (D)
Paul (D-)
Average (D-)

Featured in Episode 217

The Forty-fifth Torture

Hawk the Slayer (1980)
(Terry Marcel; Jack Palance, John Terry, and Bernard Bresslaw)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
Paul (D-)
Julia (D)
Mike (F)
Average (D-)

Featured in Episode 222

The Forty-sixth Torture

The Omega Man (1971)
(Boris Sagal; Charlton Heston, Anthony Zerbe, and Rosalind Cash)
Grades:

Shaun (C-)
Paul (B)
Julia (C+)
Rachael (C)
David (B-)
Average (C)

Featured in Episode 227

The Forty-Seventh Torture

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)
(Gregory Walcott, Bela Lugosi, and Vampira; Ed D. Wood, Jr.)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
Julia (D)
Paul (D-)
Rachael (D+)
Overall (D-)

Featured in Episode 229

The Forty-eight Torture

Mac and Me (1988)
(Not Paul Rudd; Christine Ebersole and Jonathan Ward; Stewart Raffill)
Grades:

Shaun (B+)
David (D-)
Paul (D-)
Rachael (D-)
Julia (D)
Average (D)

Featured in Episode 239

The Forty-ninth Torture

Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)
(Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, and Oliver Clark; John R. Cherry, III)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
David (F)
Julia (D-)
Paul (F)
Rachael (F)
Mike (F)
Average (F w/ a minor ish)

Featured in Episode 248

The Fiftieth Torture

The Fantastic Four (1994)
(Roger Corman; Alex Hyde-White, Jay Underwood, Rebecca Stab, and Michael Bailey Smith)
Grades:

Shaun (C-)
Julia (C-)
Paul (C-)
David (C-)
Average (C-)

Featured in Episode 252

The Fifty-first Torture

Baby Geniuses (1999)
(Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd, Kim Cattrall, and Peter MacNicol; Bob Clark)
Grades:

Shaun (F-)
Julia (F-)
Paul (F-)
Rachael (F-)
Average (F-)

Featured in Episode 257

The Fifty-second Torture

The Black Hole (1971)
(dir. Gary Nelson; Maximilian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Foster, and Ernest Borgnine)
Grades:

Shaun (C-)
Paul (B+)
Julia (D)
Rachael (C-)
David (C)
Average (C-)

Featured in Episode 265

The Fifty-third Torture

Logan’s Run (1976)
(dir. Michael Anderson; Michael York, Jenny Agutter, and Richard Jordan)
Grades:

Shaun (C+)
Julia (B+)
David (B)
Jen (C+)
Paul (B+)
Rachael (B-)
Average (B)

Featured in Episode 270

The Fifty-fourth Torture

Waterworld (1995)
(dir. Kevin Reynolds; Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, and Tina Majorino)
Grades:

Shaun (F-)
Julia (F+)
Rachael (C-)
Paul (D+)
Geoffrey (C-)
Jen (B)
Average (D+)

Featured in Episode 273

The Fifty-fifth Torture

Krull (1983)
(dir. Peter Yates; Ken Marshall, Lysette Anthony, and Freddie Jones)
Grades:

Shaun (B+)
Julia (C-)
Paul (C-)
Mike Martinez (C-)
Average (C-ish)

Featured in Episode 275

The Fifty-sixth Torture

The Postman (1997)
(dir. Kevin Costner; Kevin Costner, Olivia Williams, Will Patton, and Lorenz Tate)
Grades:

Shaun (A-)
Jen (C)
Julia (C+)
Paul (C+)
Mike (C+)
Average (B-)

Featured in Episode 278

The Fifty-seventh Torture

The Cat From Outer Space (1978)
(dir. Norman Tokar; Ken Berry, Sandy Duncan, and Harry Morgan)
Grades:

Shaun (C)
Julia (C-)
Paul (C)
Rachael (C-)
Average (C-ish)

Featured in Episode 282

The Fifty-Eighth Torture

The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981)
(dir. Joel Schumacher; Lily Tomlin, Charles Grodin, and Ned Beatty)
Grades:

Shaun (F+)
Julia (B)
Paul (D)
Rachael (D+)
Average (D+)

Featured in Episode 285

The Fifty-ninth Torture

Zombies of Mora Tau (1957)
(dir. Edward L. Cahn; Gregg Palmer, Allison Hayes, and Autumn Russell)
Grades:

Shaun (D-)
Rachael (D+)
Julia (D-)
Paul (D+)
Average (D)

Featured in Episode 286

The Sixtieth Torture

Barbarella (1968)
(dir. Roger Vadim; Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, and Anita Pallenberg)
Grades:

Shaun (D-)
Julia (D)
Mike (C-)
Paul (C)
Trish (C)
David (C+)
Average (C-ish)

Featured in Episode 288

The Sixty-first Torture

The Santa Clause (1994)
(dir. John Pasquin; Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, and Wendy Crewson)
Grades:

Shaun (A-)
Rachael (C)
Mike (C+)
Paul (C-)
Julia (D)
Average (Cish)

Featured in Episode 289

The Sixty-second Torture

Mazes and Monsters (1982)
(dir. Steven Hilliard Stern; Tom Hanks, Wendy Crewson, and David Wallace)
Grades:

Paul (F-)
David (D)
Jen (F-)
Mike (F)
Julia (F-)
Shaun (F-)
Average (F-ish)

Featured in Episode 294

The Sixty-third Torture

Sphere (1998)
(dir. Barry Levinson; Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone, and Samuel L. Jackson)
Grades:

Paul (D-)
Julia (D)
Shaun (D)
Rachael (D)
Average (D)

Featured in Episode 298

The Sixty-fourth Torture

Aeon Flux (2006)
(dir. Karyn Kusama; Charlize Theron, Frances McDormand, and Sophie Okonedo)
Grades:

Julia (C-)
Jen (C)
Alex (D)
Trish (C-)
Shaun (C-)
Average (C- ish)

Featured in Episode 306

The Sixty-Fifth Torture

Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure (2011)
(dir. John Putch; John Cleese, Munro Chambers, and Kim Rhodes)
Grades:

Paul (D)
Julia (D)
Alex (D)
Julia (D)
Average (D)

Featured in Episode 307

The Sixty-Sixth Torture

The Haunting (1999)
(dir. Jan de Bont; Liam neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Owen Wilson, and Lili Taylor)
Grades:

David (C-)
Julia (D)
Paul (D)
Alex (D)
Shaun (D)
Average (D-ish)

Featured in Episode 310

The Sixty-Seventh Torture

Fantastic Four (2005)
(dir. Tim Story; Ioan Gruffud, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans, and Jessica Alba)
Grades:

Shaun (D+)
Julia (D)
Trish (D-)
Michael J. Martinez (D+)
Average (D-ish)

Featured in Episode 316

The Sixty-Eighth Torture

The Core (2003)
(dir. Jon Amiel; Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank, Delroy Lindo, Tchéky Karyo and Stanley Tucci)
Grades:

Shaun (D-)
Jen (C-)
Paul (F)
Alex (D-)
Average (D-…ish)

Featured in Episode 319

The Sixty-Ninth Torture

Babylon A.D. (2008)
(dir. Mathieu Kassovitz; Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, and Mélanie Thierry )
Grades:

Julia (F)
David (D)
Alex (F)
DongWong (F)
Average (F-ish)

Featured in Episode 322

The Seventieth Torture

Queen of the Damned (2002)
(dir. Michael Rymer; Aaliyah, Stuart Townsend, and Marguerite Moreau)
Grades:

Shaun (D+)
Jen (C)
Paul (D)
Megan O’Keefe (C+)
Average (D-)

Featured in Episode 325

The Seventy-first Torture

Fiend Without a Face (1958)
(dir. Arthur Crabtree; Marshall Thompson, Terry Kilburn, and Kynaston Reeves)
Grades:

Shaun (C-)
David (B+)
Trish (C-)
Average (C-ish)

Featured in Episode 327

The Seventy-second Torture

Night of the Comet (1984)
(dir. Thom Eberhardt; Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelli Maroney, and Robert Beltran)
Grades:

Jen (B+)
Paul (B)
Alex (B)
Keith Manuel (B+)
Average (B+ish)

Featured in Episode 330

The Seventy-third Torture

Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)
(dirs. Jimmy T. Murakami and Roger Corman; George Peppard, Robert Vaughn, and Richard Thomas)
Grades:

Jen (D)
Paul (D-)
Mike Martinez (F)
Average (D-)

Featured in Episode 332

The Seventy-fourth Torture

Judge Dredd (1995)
(dir. Danny Cannon; Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, and Rob Schneider)
Grades:

Trish (C-)
Paul (D+)
Julia (C+)
Daniel (D+)
Average (D+ish)

Featured in Episode 335

The Seventy-fifth Torture

Maximum Overdrive (1986)
(dir. Stephen King; Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, and Laura Harrington)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
David (D)
Alex (D-)
Zena (C-)
Average (D-ish)

Featured in Episode 339

The Seventy-sixth Torture

Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs (2015)
(dir. Ari Novak; Eric Roberts, Rib Hillis, and Casey Fitzgerald)
Grades:

Shaun (D-)
Julia (D)
Becca (C)
Adam (D)
Average (D-ish)

Featured in Episode 342

The Seventy-seventh Torture

Krampus: The Reckoning (2015)
(dir. Robert Conway; Monica Engesser, Amelia Haberman, and James Ray)
Grades:

Shaun (F)
Paul (F)
Jen (F)
Alex (F)
Becca (F)
Average (F)

Featured in Episode 344

Torture Literature Reviews:

The First Literary Torture

Modelland by Tyra Banks (2011)
Grade:

Shaun (F-)
Jen (F-)
Average (F-)

Featured in Episode 76

Non-Torture Reviews:

The Third Anniversary Special

Stargate (1994)
(Roland Emmerich; Kurt Russell, James Spader, and Jaye Davidson)
Grade:

Shaun (B)
Jen (A+)
Julia (C)
Paul (B+)
Average (B+)

Featured in Episode 147

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