You picked it. Now we have to watch it.
And what did you all pick? This piece of crap:
(Then again, it’s a horror movie, which means Jen will really hate it. We might have fun after all…)
There’s nothing quite like terrifying your enemies by riding on the back of an enormous dragomaeba!
Say hello to our new recruit!
The Draekon of Foleris — Vohextra Naeglerian
Strength 10; Intelligence 5
Special Ability: Fear (Vohextra must be blocked by three or more amoeba)
(Sword of Fire and Sea by Erin Hoffman)
It’s time to pick another movie. We hope you make the right choice, because the last one you all picked as awful…
And don’t forget that you can always suggest new movies to add to our larger list. We don’t watch anything you don’t let us know about! After all, we watch bad science fiction, fantasy, and horror movies so you don’t have to…
We’d like to thank Eoghann Irving for launching a small, but not inconsiderable, campaign for our next Torture Cinema movie selection. Without him, we’d likely be watching something like Jumper, which is only moderately bad as a movie. In fact, after all the awful movies we’ve been forced to watch in the last year, we might have actually come to like Jumper. Maybe.
But such niceties are not in the cards, it seems. Instead of Jumper, we get to watch this:
I’m waiting for the day when a microbiologist stumbles upon this blog and tells me I’m being clever with these Viking Amoeba. After all, I do an extraordinary amount of research on these things.
In any case, here’s the new recruit:
The Shield — Palustria Apteryxe
Strength 6; Intelligence 3
Special Ability: Encase (divert all damage dealt to one ofyour amoeba to Palustria; reduce that damage by half)
(Geist by Philippa Ballantine)
We have a new recruit, and this one is definitely on fire. He’s going to light things up. The Internet will be ablaze with heated conversation. We’re pretty sure you’ll have the hots for him. Really. We do.
How are you enjoying my puns? Not even a little laugh? Really? Fine. If you’re going to be that way, then I’ll leave you with the following:
The Vastatiotor — Castellan Ustulanthis
Strength 6; Intelligence 5
Special Ability: Scorched Earth (If Castellan is involved in combat,
inflict 1 point of damage to all enemies on the field oncecombat has ended and an additional 2 if Castellan dies)
(Tome of the Undergates by Sam Sykes)
If you want to see the other additions to the army, check out our Viking Amoeba Army page.
You know the drill: pick one movie you’d like us to review at the end of June for our Torture Cinema feature! We promise to hate you no matter which one you choose.
Feel free to suggest titles for future polls in the comments. We’re itching to know which movies you hated or have heard were bad!
Apparently the folks down in Hollywood have decided that maybe regular people kind of like science fiction and fantasy! Yay for geek and nerd-dom! At least, that’s how it appears based on the sheer number of new science fiction and fantasy based television series that are slated to come out this year. Granted, the folks at SyFy did just cancel Stargate: Universe, but they also have a new Battlestar Galactica series on their books, so maybe they’re not completely evil.
With all these new shows coming to the tube, we want to know which ones you’re looking forward to (after the fold): [Read more…]
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