Holy Shit! Representation Matters! Or, How SFF Helped Me Realize I’m Nonbinary
I can’t really tell you why I’m here saying I’m non-binary instead of saying I’m redefining cishet masculinity. One just feels more true to me than the other, and I say that with huge amounts of love and respect to everyone of all genders. —Jonathan Alexandratos, “How Geek Culture Made Me Realize I Am Non-Binary” I’m trans/nonbinary. I use nonbinary pronouns such as they/them, and I came to this bit of self-knowledge through the science fiction and fantasy (SFF) community. Somewhat surprisingly, I didn’t come to this realization about myself while in college while I minored in women’s & gender studies. I minored in gender studies because I liked thinking and talking about feminism, racial justice, art, culture, politics, and activism. I also really liked talking about gender. I thought that was just because I hated sexism, the patriarchy, and toxic masculinity. In college, I didn’t begin to think: maybe I like talking about gender because I’m trans/nonbinary. And why would I? I knew trans and nonbinary people existed, but they weren’t on my radar. Back in college, I had heard of nonbinary people, but that was about it. I rarely encountered anyone who was nonbinary or genderqueer. As far as I was aware, I didn’t personally know any trans people. I knew the definitions of transgender and cisgender, but I didn’t know all that much about trans or nonbinary people. I had never really been asked to make space for trans people, and I hardly ever saw others make space for trans people. I rarely came across media representation of trans or nonbinary people, much less good representation, much less consistent good representation.
Month of Joy: A Story by Sandra Odell
Skiffy and Fanty came from stage right, banging drums and spangling spangles. “Help us celebrate our Month of Joy! Tell us what makes your heart sing!” I glared at them from the cold prison of the center spotlight. “Go away. Life is 2017, and darkness, and despair, and a sucking miasma of hate and lousy chocolate.” “Are you so sure about that?” said a voice just off-stage. I squinted into the shadows. “Who said that?” Happiness entered stage left; a quiet, joyful presence come from the wings. “Hello, old friend.”
Month of Joy: A Few of my Joyful Things by Kay Kenyon
1. That feeling when I’ve done a good day’s work and I’m going to bed early with a good book that I have already started reading and so I know it’s a good book, unlike brand new reads that may disappoint me and then I have to find a new one and my evening routine is ruined. Oh, this was going to be about JOY and not crushing disappointment, so I soldier on: 2. When the snow all around the neighborhood turns blue for about ten minutes at sunset.
Month of Joy: The Love of My Life by J.A. Pitts
My friends over at the Skiffy and Fanty show are celebrating a new web site and a new year with a month of joy. To do this, they are publishing an essay almost every day in January. I love the show and think this is a wonderful experiment. I’m honored that they asked me to participate, so I thought I’d share the greatest joy in my life. On the one hand, I’m relieved to see 2017 in my rear-view mirror. Politics have infused every corner of my world with anxiety and chaos, adding so much stress that it’s impacted my writing. On the other hand, I’ve got a good job, a fantastic wife, and happy, successful, and healthy adult children. We have an empty nest for the first time and are enjoying the next stage in our lives.
Month of Joy: On Joy by James L. Sutter
When Skiffy and Fanty invited me to write a post about what brings me joy, I knew immediately that I needed to write about my wife, Margo. “Oh great,” you’re thinking. “Another generic, maudlin post about how much somebody loves their spouse.” Well, not exactly. See, eight years ago, Margo got really sick. When the two of us first got together, physical activity was Margo’s life. She was a national-championship-level ultimate frisbee player. She’d recently completed the Pacific Crest Trail, living in the woods for 5 months as she hiked from Mexico to Canada. Our first date was a 6-mile walk around a lake. Girl liked to move.
Adventures in SF Parenting: Kids and their YouTubez
Recently, I realized that I am no longer relevant. This was not something that I thought would happen to me at the tender age of 35, but I don’t really get a say in the matter. It is also possible that I wouldn’t have realized this for another decade had I not had children at a very young age. Or perhaps if I were less liberal with my computer usage policies in our home. Regardless, the epiphany occurred, and it was mind blowing. A little background data for those of you who haven’t listened to The Skiffy and Fanty Show podcast – I am the occasionally proud, more commonly flabbergasted, parent of two girls. My daughters are 11 and 12 years of age, and they are both in 7th grade at a local public Junior High School. You’ll learn more about that at some point in these “Adventures in SF Parenting” posts. Suffice it to say, if you bothered to do the math, I had my kids when I was fairly young. I was 22 when my older daughter, Mo, was born, my husband was only 18. That probably gave us an entirely different viewpoint on parenting than
