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The Alphas (Episode 2) of Warehouse 13 (Episode 3.2) in Eureka (Episode 412)

Thank you, SyFy, for making Mondays something to look forward to!  My husband has completely stopped watching Warehouse 13 and hasn’t started watching Alphas, but it’s still a joy to share Eureka with him.. and we got to squee geekily together, which is always a great thing.  However, this week’s episodes of all three were a bit on the serious side (though the Eureka version of serious is never actually THAT serious). Spoilers Ahead!

A Book by its Cover: Swim Back to Me by Ann Packer

Back cover blurb: “By the author of “The Dive From Clausen’s Pier,” one of the great Midwestern marine horror novels of the 21st century, comes a novel so chilling that it comes with a wool blanket at the check out counter. Finnigan Mt. Belucci, estranged son of the famed Belucci Fishing Family, just wants to lead a normal, northern Wisconsin life with his wife, Margaret. He wants to get a few chickens, maybe a cow — lord knows enough of wild beasts roam the countryside — and a little shack on Bayfield’s idyllic coast. Everything is blue bonnet’s and walleye fish fries until a heavy fog rolls in February 14th. The Mt. Belucci’s, on a romantic ferry ride, get stopped half-way between Madeline Island and Bayfield. As strange noises begin to emanate from below deck, all semblance of humanity leaves the ferry goers. As the Belucci’s try desperately to escape the madness around them, one thing becomes immediately apparent: they’ll never look at candy hearts the same again.” Ann Packer made her name in Midwest Gothic, and this is a blissful return to form. Having taken a departure to study French Buddhism, Packer immediately began work on the fevered dreams that would become Swim Back to Me on her return to her native Green Bay. Six years and two dozen drafts later, this little masterpiece dropped on my desk. It’s a slim volume, and innocuous looking. The faded pastels of the cover betray the transgressive musings inside. Packer’s parallels between the color of prop churned seabed and human carnage are nauseating. The early decline of the Mt. Belucci’s relationship over a misinterpreted text message give Packer the opportunity to rebuild their relationship on the boat ride.  However, even though [spoiler alert] Finnigan gets his hand cut off in the second act, forcing Margaret to protect and coddle him back to health through the incredibly rapid onset of infection (one gets the sense that time is distorted on the ferry), we never get the sense that love will retake a hold in their relationship. They rely on the familiar in unfamiliar, and terrifying, surroundings, but, as in King’s 1408, the relationship never re-materializes. This would be my main criticism of the book: the rekindled relationship Packer sets up never comes about. I may have been misinterpreting the foreshadowing, but it seemed as if it was inevitable, and inevitability is a main theme of the novel; from the sense of foreboding that Margaret gets when she sets foot on the ferry, to the mutated fish that claw their way up the hull and begin disemboweling anything with a heartbeat, to the ultimate sacrifice of Captain Helena using her own body as a replacement prop shaft. It seemed out of sorts to have the most inevitable outcome of the book to go by the wayside, but, again, this could be Packer putting us on edge once again. In the end, this is a great example of old school horror done with a deft hand. Recommended. (A Book by its Cover is our new weekly column in which we review a book based solely on the cover, without any other knowledge of what it is about.  Any similarities in our review to the book are purely coincidental and proof that we are awesome)

Torture Cinema Poll #3 Results

We’d like to thank Eoghann Irving for launching a small, but not inconsiderable, campaign for our next Torture Cinema movie selection.  Without him, we’d likely be watching something like Jumper, which is only moderately bad as a movie.  In fact, after all the awful movies we’ve been forced to watch in the last year, we might have actually come to like Jumper.  Maybe. But such niceties are not in the cards, it seems.  Instead of Jumper, we get to watch this: Thanks, Eoghann.  Really.  You’ve just given us the much-needed rationale for committing homicide…

SFFTV: The 9 Lives (Episode 5) of Teen Wolf (Episode 7)

A week late and a few dollars short, here is the review for last week’s episodes of Teen Wolf and The 9 Lives of Chloe King.  Both were a pretty big improvement over the previous week, but  Teen Wolf still suffers from weak acting out of its main character, and 9 Lives still suffers from including were-cats. Spoilers Ahead!

SFFTV: Falling Skies — Another Monumental Disappointment

I’m done with TNT’s Falling Skies. This is the second science fiction TV show they’ve produced that I’ve given up on and I’m starting to see a trend. The first was The Walking Dead, which suffered from many of the same issues that make Falling Skies such a weak piece of science fiction. Namely, the moronic use of the generic/subgeneric conventions (for The Walking Dead, post-apocalyptic zombie survival; for Falling Skies, post-alien-invasion post-apocalypse survival). But if failing to use the clichés of the genre effectively weren’t bad enough, perhaps the series’ blatant political agenda and its wishy washy handling of normally interesting and relevant subjects (to Americans) kills the show for good. Falling Skies, essentially, is about how conservative America—in the current conception of that ideal—can save mankind