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Torture Cinema Poll: October Halloween Horror!

2 Oct

It’s that time of year in which we all suddenly transform into witches, vampires, and goblins! Oh, who are we kidding? Some of us are ALWAYS witches, vampires, and goblins. But since we’re not allowed to go trick-or-treating anymore, because we’re adults, we have to review awful horror movies for a special Halloween release instead! These movies are probably more horrifying than candy corn pizza. Maybe. Honestly, candy corn pizza is probably the scariest thing we’ve seen this year.

Your torture selection is from our specially curated list by David Annandale, so we’re sure they’re all hauntingly good. MUAHAHAHAHA!

In conclusion:

What’s the best way to get rid of a demon?

Exorcise a lot.

 

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Torture Cinema Poll: September Revenge of the 90s!

4 Sep

Well, you did it guys. You picked an absolutely awful movie last month, so hopefully you enjoyed our screams of agony as we reviewed Battle Beyond the Stars. Now you have a chance to take your revenge on us for whatever it is we’ve done to deserve all this torture. We imagine it was something truly terrible, like eating the last cookie.

Actually, we just picked all 90s movies to take revenge on Shaun for being ridiculously picky about what appeared in the poll this month. SUCK IT, SHAUN!

Have at it, folks! TORTURE US WITH ALL THE AWFUL THINGS WE ALREADY ENDURED IN THE 90s!! (It’s no wonder we’re so messed up)

Torture Cinema Poll: August Attack of the 80s!

1 Aug

We realize that you haven’t even heard our July pick, Night of the Comet, yet, but it will be up soon! PROMISE!! What you’ll find when you DO listen to that one though is that sometimes the team gets really lucky and ends up watching something really kind of enjoyable.

SO PICK A REAL TORTURE THIS TIME!!! We know! We’ll make it easy! We’ll only pick movies from the official torture list that were made in the 80s.

Oh, gods, what have we done!?

These choices are SO, SO BAD!

save us.

Torture Cinema Poll: June Classics

2 Jun

Even though you probably haven’t even had the pleasure of listening to Shaun’s singing in our Queen of the Damned episode yet, it’s time to pick our torture for June! This time, we’ve decided to force you to torture us with a classic… Ok, so ‘classic’ is probably being too kind to the utter drek that you get to pick from this month. May Cthulhu have mercy on our souls.

 

Torture Cinema Poll: Mayday!

1 May

Well, everyone, Babylon AD was pretty awful. More awful than some of us remembered. So good job on your April pick! This time around, there are no redeeming features to any of these movies. We swear. None. So pick away and be confident that whatever you do choose, it will be torturous for our participants!!

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